Monday, November 4, 2013

You say "Big & Beautiful" like it's a bad thing


At my cousins baby shower last week my uncle decides to say "I know you're all about the Big & Beautiful stuff, but this (gestures to me) is too much." 

Sigh, here we go. 

Sorry for the selfie. Pic taken post-tears, upon the realization that folks see what they want to see. 

Even as I gave him the IDGAF look, he continued his rant (in front of people I don't even know) about how unhealthy it is, the effects on my knees, etc, etc, etc. I have a couple of options: 

Option 1: Cuss him out. 

Option 2: Be respectful and ask him to do the same. 

Option 3: Grin & bear it - for now. 

The Libra in me, did a combination of Options 2 & 3 - I couldn't allow myself to cuss him out in front of others, I didn't feel the need to stoop to his level. I responded with a question "Really?? This is not the kind of conversation that needs to be had during a baby shower while my cousin is opening gifts." 

He kept talking and as I did my best to tune him out I thought - I havn't seen my uncle in over a year and this is all he can say to me - deep breath. When he was finished with his monologue I got up, left the room, and cried tears of frustration because I didn't give him what he deserved - a nice dose of Option 1. 

Why do people, especially family feel that they have carte blanche to say condescending things to you at anytime?

I'm not even hurt by his words, he's a jerk. But I was angry that it bothered me - I was upset that for all of my accomplishments that he still couldn't get past my weight. In his mind, my weight seems to trump over all.  

I love me....fat, flaws and all. I see my accomplishments, and my struggles and I grow from it all. For someone to even  attempt to minimize that is their problem but I'd be lying if I said that at 31 that it still doesn't bother me.  

           My weight will never determine my worth - I just wish that others could see that. 

Has anyone taken the liberty to attempt to make you feel "less than"? How did you respond? 

~Luvin' My Curves 

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