Morning!
If you read my last post - I mentioned that there were some issues with my outfit. Unfortunately it's not the first time that my choice of clothing has been questioned but I couldn't quite put my finger on what the 'issue' was. It took 3 years, but it finally revealed itself - it's my size.
There was a dress code at my job and in addition to the dress code I made a point to dress appropriately (cleavage, skirt length, etc) because whether I realize it or not the female students take cues from the female faculty. I see it all as an opportunity to mix classics with on trend pieces and still make the dress code work for me as well as adhere to the rules.
Or so I thought.
I've seen some of my other colleagues wear sky high heels, short skirts, and too-tight clothes. But when I wear 4" heels, pencil skirt, or anything not the "New England Norm" I always get a 'magical' email, meeting or raised brow. Most of the older adults dress conservatively, but that's their choice if I want to wear bright colors, mix prints or do my hair differently I don't think that should be a cause for concern.
It took my awhile but eventually it started to make sense - if you are not used to 'difference', then anything outside of the norm (size 0-10) rocks the boat. Basically, it felt like there was a different dress code standard for me ( a plus size woman) from my straight size counterparts. If I'm not hiding underneath bulky clothing and instead I'm comfortable with showing legs or arms (gasp!) then those around me can just deal with it.
It wasn't until the auction night when someone asked me if I thought that a "woman of my size" should wear shoes like the ones I wore that years of uncertainty and uneasiness became clear. And that's when it all came together - my clothing and my confidence made those around me uncomfortable because they were not used to it. What did my size have to do with anything?
My role at my job dealt with issues of diversity and equity so this realization shouldn't have alarmed me the way it did. I dealt with issues of race, ethnicity, gender and sexuality but only minimally with sizeism and now I was trying to sort out how to deal with it in my own situation. How do you express to those you work with that they are discriminating based on someone's size? I'm still trying to figure out the answer.
How do you or would you teach adults, especially those you work with that sizeism is a form of ignorance? Have you ever felt that the dress code at your job or school is different for plus-sizes?
~Luvin' My Curves
6 comments:
Wow was a bit surprised to read this blog. Most folks look at plus size women as unkept, frumpy, lazy and when you take pride in your appearance you still have issues. I would say unless there's a written rule of something willing to be put in writing I would continue to carry myself in a dignified and comfortable way. Why should you be made to conform if they uncomfortable with your confidence. Keep strutting your dignified self and don't let anything keep you from holding your head high while wearing you stillettos.
Me and my fellow curvy colleagues go through the same thing at my workplace!
What we've done is point out when our skinny colleaugues break the rules; we demand that it's either one rule for all or no rule at all.
I find it disgusting that you have to go through this as a teacher! A school should be filled with teachers who aren't any kind of "ist" in anyway... Racist, sizist, etc...
I hope you find a way to sort them out because their attitude is intolerable xx
http://thecurvygirlinthecorner.blogspot.com
I feel you were appropriate, actually borderline conservative compared to what I've seen some of our slimmer coworkers wear. As plus sized women, the unspoken code is we are to blend in the background as much as possible. We should not wear bright colors, high heels, noticeable makeup, etc. because it would make us stand out and/or make a spectacle of ourselves. We should be well groomed but bland (in other words--invisible). I have seen some plus sized women who should have taken a second look in the mirror before they left home. But you are not one of them. You appear to be confident, and carry yourself with dignity and style. Keep raising the bar, my sister!
You looked fine and I agree with you as long as you dressed conservative and stayed invisible to others they had no problem with it. It is their fault they can't deal with you and your fashion. I say they are adults and have a conversation with them. Also read up on the exact rules of the office if they are quoting an understood rule instead of an on the books rule let them stew in their ignorance as you go about your business.
I am only 18, so I am not in a work place environment, and my high school had a uniform, however whenever it was casual dress day, and you could wear anything you wanted if it did not contain harsh quotes, inappropriate skirt length and high shoes, I had a few situations where teachers and slim friends would make comments. I never wear extremely low cut tops, I feel a little bit of modesty is in order at school. But even when I would wear a style of top that most of the other girls were wearing, I would get the 'slut' look, or friends would ask the most obvious question 'Is your chest cold', and I would say, 'uhm, are your exposed legs cold with that tight mini?' Idk whether it is jealousy in a sense, and this is not me trying to sound cocky, but I have had people judge me for my curve hugging pencil skirts and cleavage holding blouses. But why should I, or anyone else dress down, or not dress the way we want for a few judgmental looks. I think your confidence scares them into a mental thought pattern of "omg, she can embrace herself, but the media and society has told us she should be rocking up in fat pants and baggy tees" It is ridiculous, and if I was you, I would not change, I would continue doing what you are doing, because if you stop, you are letting them win.
Hi All! The ironic part is that I am leaving this position but I did make sure to address this issue before I left. I addressed it not only as a plus size woman but as an employee of the school and as an attorney, no one wants a discrimination suit on their hands and no one ( I hope) wants a member of their community to feel out of place.
No worries, I'm not changing a thing. If folks are "afraid" then they need to get with it :)
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