My Beautiful Surprise

Morning!

Late last month  I said that I've been playing in my closet alot basically I can't shop for awhile. And it's not because I don't want to ( I mean really, I ALWAYS want to shop), but right now it's a necessity. Sometimes it's easier for something to happen in order for you to actually go through with something as opposed to just saying "I'll stop shopping" or "I'll workout 5 days a week" with no reason or goal attached to it.

Last year I didn't shop because I wanted to challenge myself and if it wasn't for making the challenge public here I don't know if I would have been able to hold out for 90 days - but this time around there's a bigger reason.

                                                            I'm engaged.

I'm a pretty open person - but when it comes to matters of my heart I close up. Maybe it's my past, or not wanting to jinx my present but I keep it close to vest because I want to experience for myself how it all plays out. I took alot of time to figure out what I really wanted, because let's be honest sometimes we say we want A but our actions dictate that we really want B. I refused to jump into a relationship because my mom wanted me to or because society in it's "wisdom" suggests that I should do so. When I was truly ready my heart would tell me so and I was willing to be patient for the right thing.

We've known each other for years, but I put him in that proverbial "friend box" because at that time my heart didn't and at times just couldn't see a relationship with anyone. What I realized was this... when I stopped looking and concentrated on living that's when it happened. I like to think that he was giving me my space to heal, to grow and to live; because when my heart was really ready for a relationship I was able to receive it whole-heartedly.

I've never been one to dream up a relationship, or a wedding for that matter so this is all a "beautiful surprise" (cue India.Arie's song in my head) for me. I know him living abroad is not ideal but we deal with it because we know it's temporary. Will it mean me moving to South Africa? Who knows.... but I'm open to the possibility and the opportunity if that's what's right for us.

~Luvin' My Curves