" You seriously need to date."
- Mom
It's not uncommon to be a single woman in New York, just look at the figures. But for my old-fashioned West Indian mother this is a small cause for concern now that law school is over and I'm getting closer to 30. I am not as afraid of singledom as she is for me, but perhaps she's right - maybe I do need to go on a date.
Dating is tricky, but I've found that as a plus size woman my dating journey has been vastly different from my friends. There are some who WON'T date me because I'm a "thicka sista" and there are others who will ONLY date me because of that .(CeCe from The Big Girl Blog discussed this here) I've matured in my resolve that I cannot be overly concerned with a guy's preference, I can only be concerned with me and how I handle myself.
Like everybody I do have my own insecurities, fears and terrible experiences when it comes to dating - from the extreme of going out with a guy only to find out that we only went out so that he could win a bet of going out with the fat girl to having a guy spend the entire time trying to fatten me up. Don't get me wrong, I've had normal and wonderful dating experiences as well but this just goes to show you that this can be an interesting game.
With all of this said, Mom's comment rings true. I've taken the post-breakup "get my head right " hiatus from relationships, perhaps it's time to throw my fedora into the dating ring again. Coincidentally, one of my favorite bloggers Demetria Lucas from A Belle in Brooklyn took the plunge in the July issue of Essence Magazine by allowing herself to take a dating challenge. I read it but wasn't too sure if I wanted to allow myself to be hooked up or even actively seek out a date, eventually good friends and good wine prevailed and I figured "what could really go wrong?"
I don't know what this will bring, but my hope is that this venture won't be in total vain. I'm open to meeting new people and if a possibility arises that could be cool too. I may not discuss all of my adventures in a post, but make sure to follow me on Twitter because I'm sure you'll see some post-outing reactions there. So, join me for a spell as I (and a few guests) discuss these adventures in dating. What do you think? I'd love to know your thoughts on these subjects, maybe we can all learn and/or laugh with each other.
~Luvin' My Curves
7 comments:
Okay look Missy I am a little older than you I will be 34 next month so I don't get pleas to date it is for me to please get married. Lol.
And I am sick of it. They think I don't date but I have always been a slick one. I do date but marriage is a whole nother animal altogether.
You can not make your mother and grandmother understand that "You" as in I am afraid of commitment. And I do mean deathly afraid, like in engaged three times afraid..
Go on the dates have fun but don't let anyone guilt you into doing much more until you are ready..
Thanks for your words! I've missed you, where ya been? I will have fun, I'm not ready to walk down the aisle just yet but it would be cool to have some dating options - mom will have to accept that fact. :)
How is this going to work? Are you only going to date through hook-ups? This is exciting!
I can't believe your date was so stupid as to go out with you as part of a bet! Please tell me this date was years ago like when you were a teenager?
hey LMC
I was really sick for awhile and was just reading your blog through google reader. Note: I just realized that I was getting the entire posts.
So today I decided to come to the source and look around. I like the change,
LOL--I had someone tell me I needed to get married within the next two years so "they wouldn't be too old to enjoy the reception!" LOL!
I look forward to reading about your dating adventures. I loved that article from Demetria Lucas & have considered testing it out as well...we shall see...
i have a hard time dating too; i'm not sure if it's because of my size (i never had guys say anything to me), but i guess the my insecure self thinks when things don't work out (i.e. i asked a guy out, he says yes then never returns my phone call to make plans) has do with me being plus size. i unfortunately don't get asked out, so it's usually me making the first move, and that has so far turned out not to work!
i'll have to check out that article and see what they suggest! keep us informed as to how it all works for you :)
Hey LMC, with the state that relationships are in these days I have started to actually reconsider whether i wanna get married or not, but I actually stepped out of my box and tried meeting people online on dating sites.
Now let me tell you, there is alot of riff-raff out there but my dating life was practically non-existent and this kicked it up a notch. I havent met my prince charming yet but at least you will get some funny and crazy stories to share with your besties.
And i met a couple of really nice guys that i can just kick it with because its one thing i learned, you can get alot of knowledge about what men want from other men. I have learned alot. Good luck girlfriend!
Post a Comment