Sound Off: Is there really love in the club?

Morning!!!!

Pretty interesting question, read on...

Dear LMC,

Have you ever been to one of those big girl parties? I went for the 1st time not too long ago and I had no idea what to make of it. There were girls of all sizes, the music was good but the things that stood out to me were this:

1. Why can't I feel this wanted in a regular club?
2. Is this feeling of me being desired real, as in do most of these guys have a fetish and that's why they are at the club?
3. I had the feeling that alot of the ladies were regulars, and most of the guys were preying on the ones with less esteem.

It felt great to walk into a club and not only be given attention when "that song" comes on - it felt nice that I didn't dress up only to stand on the wall, there were guys who wanted to dance with me and even some who wanted to exchange numbers. I should have gone to these parties before but I don't think I was confident enough to go, plus I heard that the guys were only trying to take advantage. I wonder if it's even worth going to meet a decent guy.

I know this email is all over the place, but do you really think there is love in the big girl club? Have you ever been?

~T



Hey T!

Some of us, myself included have ventured into the "big girl club" scene. The impression that some of us walk away with varies, depending on what the "goal" is. Awhile back I had a pretty lengthy discussion with some of my fellow plus-size beauties. As we talked about clothes, work, men and nonsense, someone brought up "the club", and not just any club but "the big girl club".


For some this is a touchy subject.. depending on where you live the "big girl" scene is different. And until some time ago I was oblivious about the "big girl club" scene out here, I knew they existed but never experienced it. So one day I finally decided to venture out with a group of my friends, I had a great time and like you it was nice to be asked to dance in a club setting. ( I refuse to stand on the wall, but I usually end up dancing alone).

However, I didn't come to the club to look for love.. I went to party. I went to check out the scene I had heard so much about .. and yes.. while I saw some things that were side-eye worthy, I tried my best to remain fair in that I saw side-eye worthy things in "regular" clubs as well. Since then, I've gone to a couple of other parties and every time I must admit I enjoyed being a part of the majority, it's a small rush that I get as I walk in. However, I go to have fun, nothing more.

To answer your questions, I don't think there is love in ANY club, not just one kind of club in particular. Sure you can meet someone at the club, but in the same vein you can meet anyone anywhere. Don't think that you have to go to a specific kind of party in order to meet a guy who likes you. Are you alone in feeling that when you go to a "regular" club that you may not feel as wanted as when you go to a "big girl" club? No, many people might feel the same way you do, the chances are just higher that a guy who is attracted to a plus size woman may go where he knows those women will be. The most important thing is that you feel confident wherever you go, not just a specific type of party. I hope this helps a bit - your confidence and what you think of yourself is what's going to find you love, not the location... you may even find "him" in the least expected place. :)

Have you ever to been to one of the parties we're talking about here? What's the "scene" like in your town? Do you like them or prefer them to other parties? Do you identify with T or have any words of advice for her? What do you think of T's observations?

Sound off, I'd love to hear your thoughts...

~Luvin' My Curves