I've gotten a couple of emails like this before but I think this one just did it for me - it could have offended me, but instead just challenged me, read on:
LMC, I love your blog but I want to know why you don't show edgier pieces- your style is like the typical fat girl, it's not haute couture, it's not edgy or high end. I see others trying lines that don't traditionally carry plus sizes and they make it work for them so I look to you and see you don't do the same thing- why is that? You're plain compared to others, and I struggle with reading your blog and still liking you when I see others do it so much better. If you're going to be a fat fashion blogger then you actually need to be fashionable.
-Questioning
Dear Questioning,
I respect your opinion and I appreciate you letting me know your concerns. What I love about being a blogger is that there are so many opinions- and as a reader you have a plethora of options when reading. Luvin' My Curves is meant to be informative, fashionable, yet realistic to me and loads of others that I know. I never know what article will help, motivate or inspire a reader and that's the joy of doing this.
I dress for me, I don't follow trends to the "T", never did- it's not my style. While I applaud those who are edgier with their looks, it's not me and I don't try to be something or someone I'm not.I venture into new styles and looks but remain mindful of what looks good on my body. I'm 5'3", pretty endowed in the chest, I have a tummy that is stubborn and won't leave , about to be 27 years old and in the legal field- the others you speak of are taller,younger and may be in a work field that allows them to be more expressive with their clothes and yes they are definitely edgier than I am- which is why I love them too!
I'm a grown woman, in a career that doesn't allow much expression with clothes- I do what I can but I also respect my craft. I know my body and though I would love to wear a bodycon skirt I know that it wont look the best on me- I'll talk about it on this blog but you wont see it on my frame until it looks good on me - I owe that much to my readers and myself that if I'm going to wear certain things that it look good on me.
By nature, I'm not an edgy chick... that's not me -and if you've read Luvin' My Curves I've stated many times that it's been a continual yet fun process for me to step into pieces that I wouldn't normally wear.
I've never claimed to be super-fearless, but I've always been willing to step out my comfort zone and try.
Though I love clothes, love style and love fashion I have to be smart about my purchases (at times) I can't splurge on pieces that I know won't fit and won't translate to the court room or the board room. In addition, a size 18 on a woman who is 5'7 looks completely different on a size 18 who is 5'3"- so what may work for one may not work for me. An XL in one line may fit a taller lady, but may look tight and not cute on my 46G's. Hence, why you haven't seen a piece of Forever 21 on me - I've tried it before, it didn't work on my frame and I won't spend money of something that hugs in all the wrong places just to prove a point.
Another thing you are 20.. and through not that much younger than me, young enough that you didn't really feel the brunt of lack of clothing options when coming through high school - you at 20 have OPTIONS galore to choose from. When I was going through high school both Ashley Stewart and Lane Bryant did not have the color, cut and fit that they do now... Torrid was not in existence just as the majority of other sites and clothing lines you shop from now. You're lucky.... it was hard to find clothes that were affordable, fashionable and fit me well.
I'm not trying to be mean, but I hope you respect my stance- I can only be me and will continue to do so. I didn't grow up being completely comfortable in my own skin, I battled just like many of my readers did - which I why I understand the apprehension that shopping and clothes cause, which is why I speak on gaining confidence because I appreciate what a heightened confidence has done for me. Not every curvy girl will jump for Beth Ditto's line- it might be too much for them- while others have dived head first.
Plus size women come in all shapes, sizes, and attitudes. There are those who will walk down the runway like it was made with their walk in mind- others will walk confidently while being scared s&#$!!, others will walk sheepishly with their head down wishing they could run backstage and there are those who will never even hit the stage, too scared and too concerned about others opinions. Same goes for fashion and style- I think we all need to respect it, appreciate it and relish in the diversity in our community.
I want to thank you though... your words indirectly challenged me-you put me on notice and I appreciate it. Your email sparked something in me , and I'm excited for what's about to come- stay tuned :)
~Luvin' My Curves
Friday, August 21, 2009
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28 comments:
Very well said, if all of the plus size bloggers were posting the same stuff then it would be boring right?
Wow. I really love how 20 years with no life experience and NO REAL ASS jobs AND NO BLOGS can even fix their mouth to criticize you.
I am 36, work in Corporate America and finally KNOW what works for my body. I also know that I spend my money on timeless classics and that the real edginess comes from accessories, purses and shoes. Hence I have a real shoe fetish.
I would suggest the letter writer follow Gabi at yff.com for the edgier looks. I love Gabi's blog too but I can't wear a lot of what she features to work at my job that pays my mortgage.
LMC, your work here is appreciated and I follow you on Twitter too. Keep doing your thing!
First of all, the author of Luvin' My Curves is rather kind. How dare someone say I like your blog but struggle to read it because of your lack of fashion or style. If this person knew anything about fashion or style they would know that the definition of what is fashionable or stylish is based on our own interpretations. As for comparing Luvinmycurves, (which I love)to other blogs that post higher end pieces, I say this: As plus size women we often see clothing in magazines that are made for smaller women. We look in awe and wish that we could wear some of the things that they wear. We do not need another blogger reminding us of what is not within reach by featuring couture items that most of us can't afford or fit. Does this person know the dollar value of a "true" couture item? Hell, the people who model couture items can't even afford them. What Johara does is give us real life options and real life solutions with our real life pocketbooks in mind. There is no rule written that says that fashion blogs have to have all the bells and whistle of magazines that feature clothing that were not purchased but donated for photos. I appreciate Johara's realness as it relates to clothing because fat or not, real women far out number any self proclaimed fashionista.
Great response!!
Your response is refreshing- you could have went off on her but you chose your words carefully. I hope the young lady gets the message. What you do is give women options, you are edgy in your own way but like you said going off the deep-end isn't you, but you still discuss it. You're like lots of ladies on a journey to discover themselves, and there's nothing wrong with that. I hope her email doesn't discourage you, you touch more people than you think.
I'm with you, LMC! Variety is the spice of life. (And for the record, I think you have plenty of egde!) I enjoy ALL of my plus-size bloggy buddies - specifically because they're different. As far as I can see everyone is flashy in some ways, conservative in others. I do sometimes lean toward edgy stuff, but as a 30-something who WORKS for a living, I cannot wear "edge" everyday or even most days. This post really brings home the point that women need flexible wardrobes. So that's a good thing! Keep up the good work. ;)
MightayMightay
http://brickhouseofstyle.blogspot.com
http://twitter.com/mightaymightay
you go Johara! Unless you are in the industry what does a 20 year old know about couture level fashion anyway. The fact that you know your body and know what works with you puts you light years ahead of those that put on anything just because it comes in their size.
You rock fedora's, wear 4" heels to brunch, have no issue with lots of cleavage, you wear huge flowers in your hair at will, you wear fishnets just because & you make Lane Bryant look good when alot of us have given up on that line. I'm a fan of the blog and when I saw you at FFFWeek you and your style made me proud.
On top of that you're an attorney right, what are you supposed to wear in court without getting thrown out or not taken seriously? You seem to have a style all your own, someone asking you to be like other is useless. Keep doing you, I'll keep reading, everyone's happy.
First of all, you responded with style and grace. Love it. Secondly, I like the pictures/sugesstions/advice/ideas on your blog because it's practical. I like things that are comfortable, yet still cute and stylish and most importantly easy to put together. Just speaking for myself, I don't have time to be bothered with a whole bunch of complicated outfits, buckles, snaps, bells and whistles. I appreciate the information that I get here.
Let's face it: a fatshionista is probably going to wear good, awesome outfits maybe two or three times a week at most. We have to work, and we have budgets. Sometimes I want to dress down just to have the What Not to Wear people give me $5K. You know yourself and what you want, and you still like fashion. That's all you really need.
I like your style. It says up to date but functionality. I'd love to parade around in couture but I've got work to do. I'll save that stuff for parties.
I'm usually a lurker, but that was a great response. THe fashions and advice you present on your blog are edgy enough! Most of the women who read these blogs have budgets and families that come first. Heck, I'm 22 years old but as a mother I have my limits on what i can and will wear. Just like all when, plus sized women come in all shapes sizes and interpretations of style. Thank you for continuing to show your aspect of style!
hey johara...i just wanted to say i agree with you. i personally like a little edge to my outfits but that doesn't mean ALL bloggers/women should dress like me. diversity in style is the fun part! my audience may be different from yours and that's a great thing that should be celebrated.
-gabi from yff
i appreciate your response to the young woman. what ive come to realize from following various fatshion ;) bloggers is that you have to find a blogger that speaks to you. there have been blogs id follow that might not post anything that is even CLOSE to my style. just because you're a fatshion blogger doesnt mean you speak to all fatshionistas.
i think you have a good following of women who identify with you and your style. you know what will and wont work for you, though you arent afraid to try. im not a haute couture kinda person in my day to day, so reading a blog with edgy fashions just isnt for me. i like the space you've created here, so please continue to do what you've been doing.
sometimes a plus sized diva doesnt WANT to be edgy. sometimes she just wants to be able to look and feel good in the lane bryant jeans and b&lu top she's rocking.
write on my sista. :)
JoJo, I LOVE you for this!
This was a wonderful, really-written response to an immature, uninspired, tacky little girl's complaints.
My personal opinion: one does not need to be "edgy" to be fashionable. And fashion, really is not that important to me. Cultivating my own personal style-- figuring out what colors, cuts, and fabrics work for my body, and make me look damn good-- is the key. That is what I have seen you do over the years, and you are all the more beautiful for it. How dare this chick insult you and your blog and your fashion choices, because they aren't what she finds "edgy"??? Go read a book, child. When you're on Jo's level, maybe then you can holla.
You are much nicer person than I am, I would have ripped apart that reader. Also being a "fat fashion blogger" I expect to get negative comments, emails and feedback. It makes laugh sometimes because some people think they can say what ever pops into their tiny heads since they are anonymous on the internet. How many people would really be able to say the same face to face. Having said that I think you did a great job in your response. The reader obviously doesn't know fashion, as not every one has the same style. Fashion is very broad and can take on many styles. Being so young that reader feels she is probably on top of fashion, but solely shopping at Torrid & F21 does not make you edgy or fashionable. I'm sure she can't even afford any thing truly edgy or high fashion. All I know is you have a good blog and don't let ignorance stop you.
there's always been talk in the fatshion blogger community of your plain persona. that's not new. in all honesty what you post is what us fat girls and/or our mothers wear every single day anyway. what we just saw at AS or even wal-mart but that's okay, that's you. i think calling yourself a "fashionista" (a stretch) is what's pushing it, hence the writer's opinion. fyi: fashionistas aren't average hun. i guess now it's confirmed why you were one of the few to go head over heels for the mostly snooze-worthy fashions at fffw. to each her own. commonistas might be a better FIT.
i totally think there's room in the fat-o-sphere for all opinions/styles/etc. for every person that wants something edgy, there's a person that's more casual. doesn't mean anyone is right or wrong, just that there's a difference of opinion. i definitely respect your style (and response!). i don't think you need to change at all.
i'm only a few years younger (at 24) but i'm a graphic designer. i can get away with A LOT of stuff even though i work at a major cable network. my personal aesthetic is probably a bit more edgy than most but that's the beauty of fashion. i love that there is a lot of diversity in the fat fashion blogging world. if we were all the same, we'd just be rehashing the same content all the time, so continue to do you!
xtina
(musings of a fatshionista)
*Sigh* that last anonymous comment was a doozy. It just makes your post all the more exemplary to read such a rude response- not a lot of people on or off the internet have your class Ms.LMC.
-Wren
Hey Everyone, thanks for the supportive comments!!Gabbi & Christina I appreciate it greatly that you chimed in because it was evident that she was referring to your blogs when comparing. All your comments encourage me to keep doing me, emails like this don't stop me they are just interesting and proof that no one person can please everyone.
Love Me,Hate Me, call me average or a "commonista" I love what I do and will continue to do so as long as I can.
~Luvin' My Curves
You know that as bloggers, you are going to get people who love to leave their "opinions" and it's funny because they start with a positive and then end with a negative and for what to make themselves feel better. I applaud you for taking the high road because you could've just went the low route! So keep doing what you are doing!
I have to say I've always looked at your blog for "fatshionista" ideas and inspiration as I'm much bigger than your Gabbis & Christinas (who's blogs I also love!)
I read Kasmira's blog too, there's no way I'd fit into her clothes, but she's still a style inspiration .. and you're one of mine.
Gah, I can't believe some people who hide behind the "anonymous" label. I wasn't so shocked at the person who you responded to than Anonymous (comment 16).
Guess I'm a commonista, but it suits me. I've stalked down some of the outfits from you and Gabbi's sites but at the end of the day those outfits are few and far between. There are some girls who post amazing outfits, but mostly you notice they only post one a week usually .. I'm guessing they'd be just your normal jeans & tee girls other days too!
Glad you didn't let those comments bring you down. Don't worry to many of us you are a Fatshionista, and you definitely help us to find places with great clothes that help us find our own styles of commonista to fatshionista!
Thanks (and sorry if my ravings make no sense, I just had to pour out something after I read the anonomous commenter grr)
Nice post!
Now a days lot of designs have arrived in to men & womens fashion style. But one of the key items every men & woman should have is a pair of jeans that flatters your figure and can be dressed up or down.
I was not going to post anything else but that second to last comment struck a nerve. I am so tired of snobby women acting over the top when it is not necessary. Johara responded to this person like a true journalist and someone actually had the nerve to call her a commonista. There is nothing "common" about the amount of poise she used when refraining to completely embarass this person who had the nerve to come to her blog (a place that you don't have to visit) and talk mess. How dare you refer to so many women who don't call themselves as "fashionistas" as common women. Some of these common you speak of are your friends, family members and co workers. That's my beef with some people withing this community. You have people who try to create options and affect lives the best way that they know how, then you have others who take every chance possible to tear the efforts of others down. Johara speaks for the majority and for that she deserves respect. Again there is nothing common about her, her readers or anyone else who is not considered a fashionista. What is common is rude people who lack tact. This should not be a personal attack on anyone who has a dfferent sense of style. I think as plus size women, we've encountered enough of that so what I need you to do is be a bit more mature with your next post.
Thanks In Advance Hun!
The second to last anonymous comment that is.
WOW Johara, Your Amazing!! It takes a real women to keep her cool with a seemingly immature unknowing induvidual like the one that sent you this e-mail. I personally don't understand why she would be "struggling" to do something no one asked her to do. My advice to your reader would be to simply find a blog that she likes and stick to it. If she doesn't like your blog she doesn't have to read it. I personally appreciate you and what your doing. Keep on keeping on and always stay true to yourself.
I'm not "fashionable" actually I'm downright old fashioned sometimes. But some of the brides I'm showing off are rockin!
I am a fat fashion blogger too but I prefer to be politically correct and called myself fashionable plus size blogger. LOL
LMC - we at Ann Harvey like your attitude: anyone can say, or wear, what's in fashion, but having style is a different matter. Choosing pieces that suit you and importantly that you actually like is what's it's all about!
Would you like to be a guest blogger on our soon-to-launch blog, Fashion plus?? We're looking for a positive voice on plus-size clothes for the walking, talking, working, thinking woman.
Please get in touch if you're interested! Either by email or via our twitter - www.twitter.com/AnnHarveyOnline
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