Morning!
Maybe I'm out the loop but how is"When U coming over to see me?" considered a 1st date/meeting?
As you can see this dating "venture" that I took on has given me alot of stories to tell, none of them worthy of date #2. I've been out all summer; not necessarily LOOKING to meet a guy but making sure that all my ducks are in a row so that if it happened, it could happen in a good way. In the immortal words of Ed Lover "C'mon Son"... is dating really that hard?
Ever since I wrote about my venture and my mom's suggestions (click
here) ... I received some interesting emails mainly wanting to know how things were going. I guess I hoped I could discuss how fun it's been , but all I want to do is wave the white flag and surrender!! Now NYC is great for quantity; I'm sure if I wanted to go out for going out sake I could.. but when you put in that oh so important word
quality then it suddenly all just goes up in smoke. ( I won't say that they're arent' any good guys out in NYC or in general, I know that there are.. I just havn't met many yet.)
The most fun has been going all over NYC with my friends; it's been great to spend time with them and even have a great laugh about the current state of dating affairs. I didn't think I would be telling all on here, but since I've been away at 2 long conferences I wasn't able to dish on Twitter,let's review some of it now...
Things I've learned/knew all along
1. If the man ONLY sends you texts and NEVER calls... don't even waste an iota of a second to answer. If he's your age then he knows that we spent a good portion of our lives actually having conversations with people, we didn't grow up using texting as a substitute for conversation and I won't start now. If we can't speak we can't chill.
2. Like I twitter ranted this morning- I'm not that chick who doesn't know you yet will show up at your house. There a couple of issues with this... I don't know you, know nothing about you and you're not getting "it" from me. Come up with something more creative than that.. and if your intention is just to hit then move on to the next one.
3. Speaking of creativity.. get some! The movie theater and Dave & Buster's are not the only options for a date. We're in NYC - there are affordable restaurants to please any palate or take some time and think outside of the box. A walk on the BK bridge, summer concert in Central Park, a rooftop lounge - living in NYC makes the options easy. If you suggest that we go out, then there's a part of me hoping that you have put some thought into what you'd like to do.
4. If you don't like what you see, then why waste each other's time. I love who I am, and whether I met you in person or online I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. So constantly mentioning my size or getting uneasy with going to well-attended spots raise red flags that you have an issue. I refuse to deal with someone's insecurities about how I look.
The end.
Do you think I'm being too harsh?
As for my attempt at the
Essence Dating Challenge ... I went on one date hooked up by a former co-worker.
The outfit was on point, and my smile was on megawatt because the vibe was right. He was handsome, funny, and had great things going for himself - the conversation flowed easily and I was definitely in the moment. That is until I got a phone 7 a.m the next day - seems ol' boy had a girlfriend that no one, including my co-worker knew about. The juicy details? Let's just say I got a very sad phone call from my old co-worker apologizing profusely, and an even sadder call from the culprit. All I could do was laugh, some things aren't worth the time.
As you can see, so far there's been no "success", but the process has been fun, if not interesting and great lessons are being learned. Life is too short to lose hope. no one said that finally stepping back into the dating pool would be easy.
I plan on going into some of the issues I mentioned above more in-depth next week, especially as it pertain to being a plus-size woman. Stay tuned...
~Luvin' My Curves
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